I trusted, I thought and the light for me shone at last.
For ever Creator let fate have my soul, forever.
I am sold and alone! My god went away so fast.
My buyer is looking at me – he is mocking and clever.
My Yesterday rushes at me like a big flying hill
And like an abyss before me my Tomorrow goes.
I am on my way… But some day by abyss’ cruel will
The hill disappears… My road is useless, I know.
And if by my will and desire I conquer the men,
And if in the night’s flying down to me inspiration,
If I am a poet, sorcerer – now and then
The Lord of the Universe – harder will be my damnation.
And I had a dream that my heart, free of pain, didn’t cry,
In yellow China on motley pagoda it’s ringing.
My heart is a porcelain bell – in enamel dense sky
Exiting the flocks of the cranes it is affably singing.
And tender meek girl in the dress of the red fine silks
Embroidered with flowers, wasps, dragons of old times,
Without a thought and a dream, cross-legged, quietly sits,
Intently, attentively listening to slight soothing chimes.
Сергею Маковскому
Я верил, я думал, и свет мне блеснул наконец;
Создав, навсегда уступил меня року Создатель;
Я продан! Я больше не Божий! Ушел продавец,
И с явной насмешкой глядит на меня покупатель.
Летящей горою за мною несется Вчера,
А Завтра меня впереди ожидает, как бездна,
Иду… но когда-нибудь в Бездну сорвется Гора.
Я знаю, я знаю, дорога моя бесполезна.
И если я волей себе покоряю людей,
И если слетает ко мне по ночам вдохновенье,
И если я ведаю тайны — поэт, чародей,
Властитель вселенной — тем будет страшнее паденье.
И вот мне приснилось, что сердце мое не болит,
Оно — колокольчик фарфоровый в желтом Китае
На пагоде пестрой… висит и приветно звенит,
В эмалевом небе дразня журавлиные стаи.
А тихая девушка в платье из красных шелков,
Где золотом вышиты осы, цветы и драконы,
С поджатыми ножками смотрит без мыслей и снов,
Внимательно слушая легкие, легкие звоны.
«Your paintings still before mine eyes are floating, / Your blessed works, that ever with me stay: / The ever-autumn lindens' gilded coating, / The blue of water made by you today. I close my eyes, so delicately drowsy, / And into your bright gardens I am led... / I search for any tra...»
«My love, this dark and sombre separation / Is ours to bear as equals, it would seem. / Weep not — give me your hand in glad elation, / And promise me you'll visit in a dream. / For you and I are like two mountains parted... / No meeting place on earth can now be ours. / I only ho...»
«My breast was chilled through, oh so helpless, / But my steps were still very light. / I picked up the glove for the left hand / And put it by chance on the right. It seemed like the steps were so many, / But I knew there were only three! / Fall's whisper, with maple-trees blending, ...»
«Hail, Julian! / Vyach. Ivanov As they lay to rest this epoch, / Psalms and threnodies do not sound, / What is in store for it are only / Snatched up nettles and thistles, / And only the gravediggers show zeal / For their labor. Work to do! / And silently, O God, how silently, / Time...»