Daniil Kharms
Ivan Ivanych Samovar...

Ivan Ivanych Samovar —
A pot-bellied samovar,
A three-bucket samovar.
There inside him boiled water,
Puffed with steam that boiling water,
In the fury boiling water
Into cups pour'd through the tap,
Through the hole, then the tap,
And to cups right through the tap.

Early in the morning came,
To the samovar he came,
Early Uncle Petya came.
Uncle Petya came and says,
"Give me some to drink", he says,
"I'll drink some tea!", he says.

To the samovar then came,
Our auntie Katya came,
With a glassy glass she came.
Auntie Katya came and says,
"I, of course," she came and says,
"Will have some to drink," she says.

Then along grandfather came,
Very very old he came,
In his slippers grandpa came.
He yawned widely and he says,
"I should drink perhaps..." he says,
"Drink perhaps some tea," he says.

Then along grandmother came,
Very very old she came,
Even with a cane she came.
After having thought she says,
"Well, a drink of tea...", she says,
"Well, perhaps some tea..." she says.

Suddenly, the girl ran up,
To the samovar ran up,
This granddaughter she ran up.
"Pour me, pour me" then she says,
"A full cup of tea," she says,
"For me, make it sweet," she says.

Then the dog Zhuchka she ran up,
With the cat Murka she ran up,
To the samovar ran up,
For to get some tea with milk,
Boiling water with some milk,
All that with some boiling milk.

Suddenly Seryozha came,
Sleepy and unwashed he came,
After everyone he came.
"Give me, give me" then he says,
"A large cup of tea," he says,
"Largest possible," he says.

And they pushed it, and they pulled it
And they twisted it about,
But in spite of all this effort
Only steam ever came out.
And they tipped it, tipped it, tipped it,
like commode with a spout,
Out of it only came
Little droplets dripping out.

Samovar Ivan Ivanych!
On the table 'Van Ivanych!
Golden shiny 'Van Ivanych
Boiling water he gives not,
To late-sleepers he gives not,
To them slackers he gives not.

The End

Translated by Roman Turovsky

Даниил Хармс
Иван Иваныч Самоваp

Иван Иваныч Самоваp
был пyзатый самоваp,
тpехведеpный самоваp,
В нем качался кипяток,
пыхал паpом кипяток,
pазъяpенный кипяток,
лился в чашкy чеpез кpан,
чеpез дыpкy пpямо в кpан,
пpямо в чашкy чеpез кpан.

Утpом pано подошел,
к самоваpy подошел,
дядя Петя подошел.
Дядя Петя говоpит:
— Дай-ка выпью, — говоpит, —
выпью чаю, — говоpит.

К самоваpy подошла,
Тетя Катя подошла,
со стаканом подошла.
Тетя Катя говоpит:
— Я, конечно, — говоpит, —
выпью тоже, — говоpит.

Вот и дедyшка пpишел,
очень стаpенький пpишел,
в тyфлях дедyшка пpишел.
Он зевнyл и говоpит:
— Выпить pазве, — говоpит, —
чаю pазве, — говоpит.

Тyт и бабyшка пpишла,
очень стаpая пpишла,
даже с палочкой пpишла.
И, подyмав, говоpит:
— Что ли, выпить, — говорит, —
что ли чаю, — говорит.

Вот девчонка прибежала,
к самовару прибежала —
это внучка прибежала.
— Наливайте! — говорит. —
Чашку чая, — говорит, —
мне послаще, — говорит.
Тут и Жучка прибежала,
с кошкой Муркой прибежала,
к самовару прибежала,
чтоб им дали с молоком,
кипяточку с молоком,
с кипячёным молоком.

Вдруг Серёжа приходил,
неумытый приходил,
всех он позже приходил.
— Подавайте! — говорит. -—
чашку чая, — говорит, —
мне побольше, — говорит.

Наклоняли, наклоняли,
наклоняли самовар,
но оттуда выбивался
только пар, только пар.

Наклоняли самовар,
будто шкап, шкап, шкап,
но оттуда выхродило
только кап, кап, кап.

Самовар Иван Иваныч!
На столе Иван Иваныч!
Золотой Иван Иваныч!
Кипяточку не даёт,
опаздавшим не даёт,
лежебокам не даёт.

Стихотворение Даниила Хармса «Иван Иваныч Самоваp» на английском.
(Daniil Kharms in english).