Daniil Kharms
Ivan Ivanych Samovar...

Ivan Ivanych Samovar —
A pot-bellied samovar,
A three-bucket samovar.
There inside him boiled water,
Puffed with steam that boiling water,
In the fury boiling water
Into cups pour'd through the tap,
Through the hole, then the tap,
And to cups right through the tap.

Early in the morning came,
To the samovar he came,
Early Uncle Petya came.
Uncle Petya came and says,
"Give me some to drink", he says,
"I'll drink some tea!", he says.

To the samovar then came,
Our auntie Katya came,
With a glassy glass she came.
Auntie Katya came and says,
"I, of course," she came and says,
"Will have some to drink," she says.

Then along grandfather came,
Very very old he came,
In his slippers grandpa came.
He yawned widely and he says,
"I should drink perhaps..." he says,
"Drink perhaps some tea," he says.

Then along grandmother came,
Very very old she came,
Even with a cane she came.
After having thought she says,
"Well, a drink of tea...", she says,
"Well, perhaps some tea..." she says.

Suddenly, the girl ran up,
To the samovar ran up,
This granddaughter she ran up.
"Pour me, pour me" then she says,
"A full cup of tea," she says,
"For me, make it sweet," she says.

Then the dog Zhuchka she ran up,
With the cat Murka she ran up,
To the samovar ran up,
For to get some tea with milk,
Boiling water with some milk,
All that with some boiling milk.

Suddenly Seryozha came,
Sleepy and unwashed he came,
After everyone he came.
"Give me, give me" then he says,
"A large cup of tea," he says,
"Largest possible," he says.

And they pushed it, and they pulled it
And they twisted it about,
But in spite of all this effort
Only steam ever came out.
And they tipped it, tipped it, tipped it,
like commode with a spout,
Out of it only came
Little droplets dripping out.

Samovar Ivan Ivanych!
On the table 'Van Ivanych!
Golden shiny 'Van Ivanych
Boiling water he gives not,
To late-sleepers he gives not,
To them slackers he gives not.

The End

Translated by Roman Turovsky