Sasha Chorny
The Seeker

From the diary of a contemporary

At wit’s end, I went to the doctor.
He pushed a pince-nez down on his nose:
“Nerves. Anxiety. Too soon to tell...
“So, I’ll prescribe
Guniyadi Janos.”

The blood pounded in my temples:
Guniyadi?! For questions,
For disbelief, for boredom?!
“Well, I’m not a philosopher.
Good day.”

So I went to a philosopher:
“Is there a purpose? A book or a plan?
A true school, a definite path?
Like an ox, I live in the dark.
Clarify!”

Pacing in a colorful dressing gown,
Its hem dragging the floor, he said:
“Even Socrates himself is helpless here.
You, idiot! Look around you!”
“Thanks a lot....”

In the street, I saw
A woman with a contented look.
I quietly approached her:
“Hello, neighbor…” – “You insolent beggar!”
“Pardon me….”

I went home in a daze,
My mind full of thoughts –
Each playing leap frog with the next:
First mockery, then insanity.
Lost!

A nurse quietly entered the room.
There is still another philosopher:
“Why do you sit here like a wild animal?
Forget it, brother, just believe – without questions.”
“In Guniyadi?”

“Gu-ni-ya-di? Who’s that?
A German saint?
To save your soul,
One saint is as good as the next...”
She left.

Translated by Kevin Kinsella